If I'm going to donate my sperm, I'll probably need a jug like this.

But if you seriously want me to donate my semen to your clinic, I'm afraid I'm going to need a much larger cup.

You see, the men of my family are unnaturally potent, and as such, your puny sample container will be less than adequate for my more-than- ample store of procreative liquids. In fact, I doubt that a whole tray of your little cups would be enough to contain my surplus supply of spunk.

It's true. My body is a wellspring of genetic material, a virtual keg of cum, with my well-endowed cock as the spigot that lets the love flow like a creamy babymaking brew.

I'm certain you've had boastful claims in the past, men who have pretended to be brimming with love juice just to bolster their self-esteem and mask their genetic deficiences, but let me assure you, that I am a man who would have no difficulty filling your entire quota of man syrup.

Yes, my loins contain enough ejaculate to re-populate a small war-ravaged country. And I swear, if I had to, I could put out a house fire with my money shot.

So honestly, if you'd like me to donate my spooge, I suggest you get me a bucket.

Biting Satire is humor and parody with teeth! Please understand that this satire article is fictitious, and only intended for entertainment purposes. Copyright Biting Satire (this year).