THOMAS CRAPPER

What were your parents thinking when picked out this costume for you? They did pick it didn't they?

Well, if you're used to being shit on, I guess Potty Pete is the perfect costume for you. Yes, the girls are really going to love you at the Hallowe'en party...because they won't have to wait in line for the bathroom.

Every time you sit down, someone's going to try to piss down the front of you. And look, you've got an extra roll of "TP" to help people with their paperwork.

Yes sir, you will be the Porcelain King! And your drunken subjects will be kneeling before you and your throne. Congratulations, Toilet Man.

HOLLYWOOD-- It's sad when you watch a low-budget adult pornographic movie and you recognize one of the characters--a former exploited minor. "Hey, I used to see that kid act in pre-teen fuck films. I wonder what he's doing now?"

Child porn stars are often stereotyped, one-dimensional characters that utter ghastly written lines from poorly rehashed scripts--if there ever is a script. It makes it nearly impossible to for them to grow as legitimate porn actors when the audience and public just want them to remain perversely cute and vulnerable.

If you've ever said "no" to sex so that you can break your personal record in Minesweeper, you've probably also bombed in the bedroom.

The question is much more complex than simply weighing a geeky hobby against an opportunity to get laid.

There are several factors involved in the computer/sex decision-making process, presuming that you have the opportunity to say "no", because you have a living, breathing sex partner.

There are times when you'll say no, and you'll have a good reason. A damned good one...you hope.

Wil Wheaton celebrates after winning the World Series Of Strip Poker.

The More You Lose, The More You Have To Show For It

LAS VEGAS STRIP-- Wil Wheaton is starting to show his mettle, but he won't be showing anything else soon, because he has won this year's World Series of Strip Poker. Wheaton undressed eight other opponents at the final table to capture the title.

Wheaton a promising young poker star, has been polishing his poker game in recent months, playing in online strip poker tournaments at strip-pokerstars.com, and participating in celebrity stripdowns. This was his first material win.