VATICAN CITY-- The Roman Pontiff, as the successor of Peter, the perpetual and visible principle and foundation of unity of both the bishops and of the faithful, has expanded the Labour Office of the Pontifical See to include a new pizza making and delivery service.

Customized pizza delivery vehicles, like this one, are now quite prominent throughout Vatican City.

The pope, John Paul II, fell in love with the pizza concept early last year.

"I love these things," the pope is reported to have said. "Look, I can use my hands to eat, and better yet, if I eat out of the box there aren't any dishes to do. None!" The pope, 81, is still a bachelor, although in theory he is wedded to God. God has repeatedly said he doesn't "do" dishes.

Concerned that the faithful were not getting a properly blessed pizza, the pope decided to offer his own brand. Each pizza is officially blessed by nothing less than a cardinal before being sent out.

AT THE KIWANIS MEETING-- Chester Maverick has had a long list of accomplishments in his seventy-nine years of life, but there's nothing he's more proud of than his huge wad of gum.

Chester "The Jester" has been saving his gum since he started "a-chewin'" back when he was six-years-old, after his father bought him his first packet of Juicy Fruit.