A Goth female is paralyzed by fear after seeing the bright headlights of an oncoming vehicle.

Watch For Goth On Road

BURKITTSVILLE, MARYLAND-- Maryland residents are blessed with pristine landscapes and winding highways that weave their way through unspoiled forests. The beautiful countrysides are a pleasure to behold, however the lulling scenery makes automotive travel dangerous for motorists--and for the forest denizens.

In particular, Goths, lugubrious followers of a punk-like subculture, can cause people quite a fright when they dart out on to dark highway roads, catching the drivers unawares. Maryland state troopers caution travelers to be extra careful when nearing Goth crossings--especially at night.

The Most Holy Patriarch of the Holy Ronald Church in Philadelphia makes an appearance during the transubstantiation during communion, dispensing chicken McNuggets to believers.

St. Ronald Of McDonald?

INSIDE THE McCATHEDRAL-- For those who are still praying for the return of the McRib, you now have a sanctuary to place your order to a higher authority.

The Holy Ronald Church of the True Faith is expanding the number of its religious franchises to closely match the number of restaurants. With believers numbering close to 100 million in the United States alone, Church officials believe the time is right to make a more dominant presence.

Previously worshipers were forced to celebrate the Most Blessed Sacrament inside restaurants, and during busy periods they would be forced into the play rooms or even outside on the patios. Within five years there should be a cathedral in every major city, with chapels and smaller churches dotting the landscape every two kilometres, population permitting.

The Needle Exchange offers cash for used hypodermic needles.

IN THE SEEDY PART OF TOWN-- Cashing in on the success of bottle and container recycling depots, needle exchanges are springing up all over town. A heightened awareness of conservation and an appreciation of the value of reusing containers has led to major needle manufacturers offering deposits on their products.

The Needle Exchange on Rabble Street is a great place to go to exchange dirty old drug needles for cash.

"I give the kids $2 for each used syringe they bring in. The lure of money is very addicting to these young folk who scour the neighbourhoods picking up discarded drug needles from playgrounds, parks, and alleys," said Willy Bethune, manager of the innovative syringe return shop.

Rakh Al-Mendar, from Luxor, Egypt, keeps his new employees watered and productive.

INSIDE THE CALL CENTER-- Rakh Al Mendar has been whipping his telemarketing team into shape. Brought in to control costs and increase production, Rakh has been working wonders in the short time he's been there. Already, the workers are avoiding his eyes--a show of respect--and appear more diligent when he walks by their workstations.

The Call Centre was inaugurated in 1987 and has kept reasonably up-to-date with computer-assisted dialing, automated call distribution (ACD), and other technological innovations. However, with markets getting tighter, management found it had to find ways to improve productivity. Their solution was to call in Rakh, a human resource manager from Luxor, Egypt.