But The Sign Says: ON DRUGS

Without the first four letter L-O-N-D, you're ON DRUGS.

The great thing about lighted store signs is that they project the store’s message loud and bright and clear. But sometimes, the same glowing letters can let you down, leaving you with a cryptic message that confuses and dismays consumers. Where the original lit store sign might say “LINDA’S MEATS AND CHICKEN” could turn into “LINDA EATS D ICK”.

I noticed the same thing occur at a notable and respected retail store, the one where I pick up my Planters Peanuts and Otrivin. Normally I’d order my pharmaceuticals through an online Canadian pharmacy but until they start selling peanuts, I’m going to have to drag my lazy ass and stuffy nose into the drug store.

So when I went to my usual nasal relief supplier, I noticed something peculiar about the way the exterior store sign lights, in that they weren’t displaying all of the letters I’d expect to see. In this case, the first four letter “LOND” were unlit, in that they were dark, and the remaining lit and glowing letters revealed to me: “ON DRUGS”!

Was the store trying to send me a message? Was there some not-so-hidden irony in the fact this store did sell drugs and that perhaps it had overdosed on its own products? Were the peanuts still in stock?

It might’ve been the chemicals floating around in my nasal cavities, but I’m pretty certain that the store was trying to tell me something through its odd arrangement of  letters. It couldn’t have been coincidence; why not “ODD RUGS” or “LOON RUGS”? Those particular missing, unlit letters said it all, and it was right–and which might have explained the large number of patrons buying Doritos, Twizzlers, and Cheezies that evening.

I still shop at London Drugs, but I’ve stopped buying my poultry from Linda.

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